I’m Worried About Hate, Not Too Much Love

I’m Worried About Hate, Not Too Much Love

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In case you haven’t heard, on Friday the Supreme Court made it legal for everybody to get married and everyone started putting rainbows everywhere because rainbows are awesome and gay people are awesome and you’re awesome and I’m awesome and life is awesome and love is awesome…

In the midst of all this awesome, there were those who really didn’t think it was awesome. Actually they thought it was dangerous. As in, the world is now going to end because Rick and Larry are getting married. Because apparently those who believe being gay is a sin have never seen anybody who sins get married beforeI was a little irritated about all this. Which was sad because there was so much awesome going on…

And now I’m going to tell you a story.  It’s relevant, so keep tracking:

My boyfriend and I went to breakfast Saturday morning. A woman sat down next to us with two young boys around 6 and 9. The older one touched the younger one; the younger one tattled. Total brothers. Instead of scolding the oldest or telling the youngest to not tattle or any other typical parenting tactic, the mother chose to say these things to her son:

“I should never take you out in public.”

“I should have left you alone with the animals.”

“All those problems you’re having with kids in school – it’s you, not them. You’re the problem.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re a disgrace to the family.”

“You’re a fucking piece of shit.”

From a mother to a young son. In public. Imagine private life! Long story short, I freaked out on this woman and tried my best to remind her son that he was not a piece of shit. It was a terrible thing.

But I realized something important. There is so much hate in this world.  So many terrible, horrible people spew hate on other people. Verbal, physical, emotional, sexual hate. It’s overwhelming and exhausting to start comprehending even a portion of the hate in this world. Human beings kill, rape, and abuse each other. Everyday.

In a world with so much hate, I don’t understand the people who are upset about too much love. I wrote a song a couple years back with the lyrics: “They think love is sometimes evil and hate’s sometimes ok. If that’s the truth than up is down, there’s got to be another way.” There are mothers in this world who call their children “fucking pieces of shit” and yet two women getting married is going to ruin America?!? There are gunmen who blow up churches, but this country’s downfall is two men loving each other?? I’m not buying that.

Now, suddenly, social media, the blogosphere and human beings seem to be sharing the message that it’s all gone to hell.  It wasn’t a white male who murdered black church-goers in Charleston. It’s gay people getting married that apparently stirs the wrath of God.  I’d be a hurt and mad if I went on social media and saw that Christians (who are totally allowed to believe that homosexuality is sinful) claim that MY “sin” was God-angering, but mentioned NOTHING about THEIR sin or about the truly terrible things that happen everyday.

I’m too busy being concerned about the horrendous atrocities human beings do to one another to buy into the fear that God is less concerned about the acts of hate in this world and more concerned about Pam and Jane loving one another. If the BIGGEST problem in this world is two people loving each other too much, life must be pretty damn wonderful.  But that’s not the case, is it?  Our priorities are way off base if we think God is now too offended, or if you think God deals with all your crap, but now the gays are getting married and He’s reached his tolerance level!!  That’s fear and insecurity talking.  Not love.

Remember that little boy at breakfast?  What if all the energy being spent frustrated with gay marriage went in to helping him?  What if we were more focused on ridding the world of hate than policing love?  I’m gonna worry about the hate, and embrace the love.  Rainbows all the way.  Gay marriage is now, simply, “marriage.”  And love won.  Because LOVE ALWAYS WINS.  And there is never, ever, ever too much love.

Featured Image via Flickr

This Blog is My Fight Song

This Blog is My Fight Song

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Why blog?  They ask all the time.  The store clerks, blackjack dealers (Vegas girl), professors, strangers, coffee shop owners.  Why even bother writing in a flooded market?  Why waste the time?  Why not make the big bucks?

My only answer: Because I have to.  I have to write.  I have to speak.  But the artist Rachel Platten gave me better, more elegant and poetic words to describe this phenomenon through”Fight Song.”

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

I know I’m that small boat in a very big ocean.  I know I’m a single word, and only one match. But here’s the thing!  I’m full of those wrecking balls she sings about.  They are the words I didn’t say for too long.  I spent years of my life feeling silenced.  Literally being told to shut my mouth because God values men’s thoughts more than women’s thoughts.  And I can’t do that any longer.

So I will write.  And you may or may not read.  But I will write.  Because this is my fight song. I’m taking back my life and I’m showing it off.  I got to wake up one morning as a 22-year-old and say “I’m going to fight to make my life the best life possible.”  Two years later and I’m still doing that.  You can too. This blog stands as documentation that I have fought and will fight for a beautiful life.

What’s your fight song?

Featured Image by the lovely and talented Bethany Paige Photography

A Few of my Favorites Friday, Vol. 5

A Few of my Favorites Friday, Vol. 5

Happy, Happy Friday my friends!  Here are my favorite things this week:

1. Bloodline

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Bloodline is my new Netflix obsession.  It’s massive, dramatic family dysfunction placed in the drop-dead beautiful Florida Keys.  Aside from the gorgeous landscape, the cast is my favorite part.  Each actor is phenomenal, as is the writing.

2. #fireworkpeople

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I accidentally stumbled upon the #fireworkpeople community on Twitter, but I’m thinking the cosmos drove me there.  It is a large group of young women who are passionate about sharing their fire to make the world better – all while SUPPORTING fellow women and defying all stereotypes of catfights.  I encourage all my gals to join in on the Twitter chats on Tuesday evenings (9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific).  If you don’t know how to participate in a Twitter chat, just contact me!

3. Stress Away Essential Oil blend from Young Living

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I wasn’t so sure about the Stress Away oil from Young Living when I first got my kit.  The blend smelled “odd” to me at first.  I let it sit around unused for WAY TOO LONG.  In a moment of great stress, I grabbed it in desperation.  Look, it works.  And I now adore the scent.  The blend is incredibly calming.  It’s a blend of lavender, lime, copaiba (South American oil that has high amouns of caryophyllene, a substance shown to ease anxiety), cedarwood, vanilla, and ocotea (Ecuadorian oil with anti-inflammatory properties).

++++ Before you start your lovely weekend, don’t forget to enter to win a paperback copy of The Husband’s Secret right HERE ++++

I Missed “How to Be an Adult 101″

I Missed “How to Be an Adult 101″

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Dear Universe:

We got a little problem.

See, I’m 24 years old. I’ve been a legal adult for 6 years now.  So I don’t really know how it happened. But somehow I missed the registration for the How to Be an Adult 101 classes. I’m a teeny bit lost.

Frankly, Universe, I don’t know what the freak I’m doing.

In my childhood, I learned to count and read. In my teen-dom, I learned to do algebra, write papers, and kiss. In my college years, I learned to speak my mind, take shots, and buy take out. Now, I know these are all enviable skills. (Especially the kissing). But kissing skills can only get you so far in this world. Other than a really strong tongue muscle…. I digress…. Be mature, Taylor, be mature….

x354-q80Buying this…

How was the How to Feed Yourself 101 day? Do other adults do this easily? I mean – You plan a meal and high five yourself. Then you go to the grocery store, forget your list, remind yourself you’re too friggin awesome to forget 3/4 of your ingredients, learn you really are that awesome because you only forgot 1/3 of them, go back to the store to spend more money on the ingredients you forgot, only to follow a recipe perfectly and still have the nastiest salmon dish your mouth has ever tasted. That’s just too much work on a Tuesday.

How was the How to be Cool, Calm, and Collected 101 day?  Because I really could have used that one.  All these grown-ups walking around like they know what’s up and it’s all under control.  They answer “I’m fine” when you ask “How are you?”  Fine?!  I’d believe it if fine meant F-ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.  When I’m supposed to be demure and poised, I’m more like an excited dog or a fire alarm or an airplane crashing over the Sahara Desert in slow, fiery motion.

Oh and the Sex and Relationships 101 class?  I know I’ve already discussed my great kissing skills, but beyond that it’s a little mushy.  Did you teach everyone how to stick two people in the same house and have it be love and roses and a romantic comedy with sparkly lights?  Because it’s more like “Why did you leave that wet washcloth on the sink?” followed by “Did you really just stink up the bathroom before I have to use it?” followed by  “I haven’t shaved in five days, wanna make out?”

Then the bills, the doctors, the insurance and retirement and investments, the family planning, and the Good Lord why in the name of everything holy do doctors get to charge you when you’re a few minutes late, but have no problem making you wait until all the eggs in your ovaries expire before writing you a prescription for Z-Pac?! I could have told the doctor I needed a Z-Pac!  I can see the white strep-throat-spots.  I DO have an iPhone flashlight, a mirror, and the ability to stick out my tongue and say “Ah” like a good 5-year-old.

Universe, either you forgot to sign me up for Adulting classes OR everyone else is faking it.  Like little toddlers in tall, awkward bodies thinking they got away with something and wondering who the hell decided to pass out “You’re an adult now” licenses.

So now I’m gonna drink a glass of wine (how remarkably fully-grown of me), then keep pretending like I know what I’m doing.  Or maybe I won’t.  Maybe I’ll just say – “I ain’t got a clue, but I’m gonna make it work anyway.”  And I’m gonna kiss a lot while I do it, probably mess up a pinch, but always be fabulous.   Because I might be an adult with adult responsibilities, but nobody told me I had to grow up….. Probably because I missed that class.

Sincerely,

Taylor the Adult But Not Really

P.S. If you don’t laugh at life because it’s so silly, you’ll cry because it’s so not silly.

P.S.S. An apple made my permanent retainer become unglued while I was writing this post.  Nothing drives home the point of not feeling like an adult more than calling the dentist to fix your retainer.

grown_upOur “We seriously have to adult?” faces

Book Talk: The Husband’s Secret + Giveaway

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Yes, I majored in English.  Yes, I like high literary art.  But I also really like a good summer read. Sometimes, I actually may like the good summer read even more (the hoity-toity English major gods can sue me and revoke my license!).  Liane Moriarty’s The Husband’s Secret was a perfect easy, breezy beach read that also had depth and good character development.  Moriarty wrote believable, relatable characters who go through hard stuff.  Just like life.  I thought the ending was going to be predictable – but it wasn’t.  Apparently others like it too.  The Husband’s Secret has over 15,000 reviews on Amazon and still keeps a 4.5 star rating.  I’d rate it the same.

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I’m participating in the Between the Lines book group (click HERE and HERE to learn more).  Bloggers are reading a set book once a month, answering some questions, and linking up their thoughts.   June’s choice was The Husband’s Secret.  I promise to not spoil anything with my answers!  I enjoyed this book so much, I’m going to give one lucky reader a copy!

1. When Cecilia finds the letter addressed to her from her husband, “To be opened only in the event of my death,” she is tormented by the ethics of opening it. Do you agree with her ultimate decision? What would you have done?

I don’t like secrets.  They can ruin relationships, even before knowledge of the secret appears.  If I found a “Only open this after I’m dead” letter from somebody as close as a spouse, I would absolutely want to know what’s in it.  I would probably warn that person ahead of time though.  A “Head’s up, I know you’re not dead yet, but I’m gonna open this anyway.”  That way they’d have a moment to explain.  But I don’t think I’d ever be able to just forget something like that.

2. Tess has suffered her whole life from crippling social anxiety. How has this made everyday situations a challenge for her? Why has she never confronted her problem? Why doesn’t she tell anyone about it?

As someone who has a bit of social anxiety too, I sympathized with this character the most.  It’s hard to confront social anxiety.  We think we are crazy or messed up if we don’t interact with people very easily.  Society often teaches us that introversion is wrong, and that being a “people person” is the ideal.  This environment can make it embarrassing to admit that you struggle with social environments.

3. Grief is a major theme in the novel, and many of the characters have suffered as a result of their losses. How do each of the characters cope with their grief? In what ways have their lives have been irrevocably altered as a result of their grieving?

I appreciated how each character handled grief differently.  Some characters pretended their grief didn’t happen, some totally lost it, some held onto it with intense bitterness, and some ran away.  Basically, it was a representation of how real people cope.  We all deal differently and our modes of grief cause different results, some good and some bad.

4. Consider the notion of betrayal in this book. Which characters have betrayed someone they love? Are their acts of betrayal premeditated, or are they unplanned decisions that become regrettable actions?

One of the things that caught my attention with The Husband’s Secret is that almost every single character betrays someone else, even if it’s in a little way.  Lovers, family members, parents, children, friends.  Most of these acts of betrayal weren’t premeditated.  But, then again, some were…. which means you’ll just have to read it to find out! :)

Enter here to win one paperback copy of The Husband’s Secret. Those who enter must be in the U.S. and over the age of 18. You have through the 23rd to enter!  Giveaway closes June 24th at 12 AM.

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