Please, Do What You Love. It’s Worth It.

Please, Do What You Love. It’s Worth It.

do what you love

Dear awesome people,

Last Sunday night I had an anxiety attack.  It was Sunday night and I knew when I woke up it would be Monday.  The first Monday morning of my new life, and I freaked.  You see, I walked in May and wore a funny little hat, then I had to go back to finish six credits over the summer.  I finished up in July and headed to the east coast for a vacation.  That was all lovely.  Then Sunday night came, and it brought the realization of what I’d done.

I gambled on this wacky idea that I could do exactly what I wanted to do, not what was “practical.”  A lot was riding on this gamble.  When I got divorced at 22, I could have found some job, moved into some apartment, lived some sort of life.  But I didn’t.  I moved in with my parents, went back to school, became a broke full time student simply because I wanted to major in something traditionally considered useless if not used for teaching: English.   I worked hard so I could have a freelance career that would allow me to travel extensively.

This was an idea I never wavered on until that Sunday night.  What if I had made an expensive mistake?  What if I wasted my time on something that was never going to work?  But you know what happened over last week?  Work poured in.  So much work that I had another mild anxiety attack last night wondering how to do it all.  I’m so grateful that I gambled. This won’t be an easy life, but it’s a life spent doing what I love while traveling the world.  I’m not going to spend my days working a job I hate just to get a check to pay bills.

I don’t think any dream or passion is placed in our minds for no reason.  I think these dreams were there to spur us on to greatness and a fullness of life.  Do what you love.  The Millennial Generation is marked by a desire to be fulfilled by what they do over the desire to make lots of money.

  1. Joy.
  2. Money.

And I’m begging you all to follow suit.  Do what you love.  It’s worth it.   You have one life; fill it with the things that make you excited to be alive.  Even if your passions can’t pay the bills, they should exist in your daily life.  Because why else are we here?

Today I’m grateful: so grateful to have finished up a degree in what I love, so grateful to know I’m spending my life doing what I love.  My heart’s about to burst.  *Currently doing my happy dance*

Love you,

Tay

Grateful Heart w/ Ember Grey

A Few of My Favorites Friday, Vol. 7

TGIF, my friends, TGIF.  Normally, I’d go out on a Friday with The Boyfriend, that handsome fellow, and eat lots of bad food and drink one drink too many.  But we are living the Paleo life currently.  Apparently Paleo is synonymous with Light-Headed Grumpiness No Fun Syndrome.  It’s actually getting better, but the first few days were not so great.  My life is rough, I know.

On a positive note.  I’m going to share some of my favorite things right now.  You ready?!

1.  Amy Schumer and Trainwreck

Trainwreck

It feels like Amy Schumer just appeared out of nowhere.  I guest most good artists do.  They work their butts off for years, then suddenly we know their names and call them “overnight” successes.    This woman is FUN-NAY.  And she sure doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects.  If you don’t like talking about sex – I mean raw, honest, open sex talk – she’s not your lady.  I loved seeing this movie.  I laughed so hard that I cried through most of it.  (WARNING: Trainwreck is not for the faint of heart.  Heavy sex content.  I mean you’ve never heard so many dirty sex jokes piled into one film before.)

2. Orphan Train (4.5 of 5 Stars)

orphan_train

Talk about switching gears!  From dirty sex jokes to a haunting historical fiction novel about the orphan trains in the U.S.  I read this on the plane trip back from the east coast, and I couldn’t put it down.  It flips back and forth from present day to the past.  The author was strongest when writing about the young girl going from home to home in the late 20s, but both sections were well-done.

Other odds and ends:

This entire blog.  If I’m a mom, I want to be like Taza.

This post about the creative process is ON POINT.

This post about female beauty ideal standards as shown through art.

Quote:

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions – Pema Chodron (<- Love that lady)

Why Have a Minimalist Wardrobe?

millennial_minimalists

In my journey toward living a more minimalist lifestyle, clothing was the area I was avoiding.  It’s not like it’s complicated.  You can throw clothes away, sell them, donate them – all simple.  So simple in fact that I decided not to make this a “HOW To Have a Minimalist Closet” post.  Because I think we all know how to toss, sell, or give away.   It’s the WHY behind it that’s a bit more difficult.

Clothes.  We need them.  We love them.  Seriously love them – the clothing market in the U.S. brings in 225 billion dollars.  Boiled down to their simplest nature, they’re intended to protect, keep warm, and hide “inappropriate” body parts.   But they’re so much more than that, right?  They are our main identifiers.  Clothes tell a lot about a person’s gender, sexual orientation, culture, economic status, likes/dislikes, cliques, age, or religion.

We are either in or out based on the shirt we pick out for the day.  Clothes are not just tools in our world.  No.  It seems as though, in our world, clothes are us.  Right?  If you don’t have cool clothes, you’re not a cool person, right?  If you don’t have beautiful clothes, you’re not beautiful, right?  Clothes have a lot of power.

It’s a hard spot to be in when you love being fashionable, enjoy purchasing clothes and putting outfits together, and still don’t want clothes to hold so much mystical power over your life.   But that is why having a Minimalist closet is so important.  You get both.  Here’s why:

Why Have a Minimalist Wardrobe?

1. A Minimalist wardrobe saves you money

You show your priorities by how you spend your money.  If a large chunk of my income goes straight to clothing, I’m showing the world and MYSELF that my outward appearance is that significant.  Now, in no way do I think it’s not important.  I love presenting myself well.  But just HOW important is it?  Are there things I value more than yet another pair of shoes?  Traveling comes to mind.  Great date nights and girl’s days.  Paying off debt.

2. A Minimalist wardrobe forces you to choose the pieces you really love

If I’m only going to have a small closet, I’ll need to choose wisely.  I’d rather have 7 outfits I can’t get enough of than 100 outfits I forget about most of the time.  You can pick and choose statement pieces and get rid of the other clutter.  That means everything I slip into has a purpose: either fashionable or functional.

3. A Minimalist wardrobe reminds you where to find your worth

No number of clothes, no matter the price tag, ever adjusts your worth as a human being.  We forget that.  I forget that.  Sure we can buy lots of clothes that make us look like artsy creatives, modest mothers, powerful CEOs, or sex kittens, but none of that actually makes us good at being creatives, mothers, CEOs or sex kittens.  Clothes are inanimate objects.

Maybe try letting go of the clothing you don’t need or care about anymore.  Maybe slow down the buying sprees.  It doesn’t mean stopping, we still need clothes to cover our bodies.  And we can have cute ones.  Remember: A Minimalist wardrobe can still be totally on-point. It’s just not 1,000 articles of on-point.

Minimalist Wardrobe Challenge

More in the #MillennialMinimalist series:

Minimalists, Millennials, and Me

How to be a Beauty Product Minimalist

The word Should is like Alcohol

The word Should is like Alcohol

I love a good mojito on the beach, a cold cider with Gluten Free pizza, or a glass of wine in the evenings. Alcohol is good. But as we know, alcohol is only good in moderation. So is the word should. You know the “should”s!  People tell you what you “should” do all the time; it’s one of society’s favorite pastimes.

You should have a skinnier body.

You should cook and clean more for your man.

You should call your great aunt more.

You should have this sort of job.

You should be more practical.

The problem with the word should is that it’s often based on a reality that is not your own; should is often a projection of how other people live their lives (or, perhaps, WANT to live their lives.) But all these “should”s aren’t always real for you. And they aren’t always healthy or wise.

In my life, people say I should go to church to be true Christian. This is not a healthy or desirous option for me right now. It may be a perfect option for you, and that’s so great! It’s not a “should” I have chosen. Society also has many little “should”s for relationships: how women and men should act. A lot of those “should”s don’t work in my life. They might work in yours, and that is so great! Being the domestic half of a relationship is not a “should” I have chosen.

But, like a glass of wine before bedtime, sometimes the “should”s have a place. It’s a matter of discretion. Sometimes, I choose a “should” for my life.  I make the agreement with myself that it is a wise choice, and then I put boundaries around it.  Like choosing to drink one night and also choosing to let somebody else drive you home.

For example, I should show love, kindness, and compassion. I make that agreement with myself, then I set up my boundary: I can’t turn into a doormat. Society will put lots of picky “should”s around love. Religious dogma can, at times, put even more.  But love can’t mean: “I should take care of you so well to the point of losing myself in the process.”   That’s codependency talking. Maybe nobody puts it better than Stephen Chobsky in Perks of Being a Wallflower:

#quote

Another one: I should take care of my one and only body.  True.  Here’s the boundary: I can’t starve myself or only eat kale. (Remember I like a good mojito on the beach…) Get the picture? The word “should,” like alcohol, is best used in wise moderation. And we MUST be the owners and managers of the word should in our own lives.  Not other people.

Unfortunately, society will often tell us that our worth is found in the “should”s.  When we do all the “should” s, we receive praise. Of course society does this; it’s an easy ranking system.  But it’s messed up.  If I lived by everybody’s “should”s, or if I lived by all the unrealistic “should”s that I’ve internalized – I would never have time to live MY life. It would all be about living a distorted view of how my life “should” be.

When is the word should appropriate?  We each have to explore that and decide on our own.  I don’t think there will be many occasions.  And they won’t be black and white.  And NONE of our “should”s should be based in fear.  All those can go away.

Neither liver disease nor a miserably fake life based on “should”s belong in our lives.

*** What “should”s do you want in your life?  What “should”s have you been holding on to that were never meant for you?  What “should”s have you already let go of? Leave a comment and let me know! ***

When In … New York City

New_York_City

I love New York City.  Not in the same way I love pizza, really.  More like the same way I love family members.  It’s a deep love.  I loved it before I met it, and loved it even more after we were acquainted.  Major love fest.

Mild exaggeration set aside, the Boyfriend and I had a blast on our quick NYC trip.  We spent 50 hours in New York City and did just about everything wonderful that you could feasibly fit in that time frame.  I couldn’t have been happier.

Broadway:

Kinky Boots on Broadway.  The best.

Times Square:

Times Square

Central Park:

Central ParkChillin’ with Shakespeare

 

new_york

The Met:

new_york_cityAn artist at The Met

The Met, New York City

Yankee Stadium:

yankee_stadium

Grand Central Station:

Grand Central Station New York

9/11 Memorial:

New York City 9/11 MemorialNo picture could describe the feeling of being at the World Trade Center memorial.

Battery Park:

The Subway:

Subway New York City

The High Line:

The High Line is an old elevated Railroad turned turned into a park/great view.

We stayed at Hampton Inn Manhattan/Times Square South.  And honestly, we booked it because it was inexpensive.  But it actually ended up being ideal.  It was a close walk to Times Square, Broadway, Macy’s, the Subway, and lots of great restaurants.  It was clean and updated.  We ended up being so glad we stayed there.

The food was insane.  I ate so. much. freaking. food.  All the rumors you hear are true; food tastes better in New York City.  I’ll compile a “Gluten Free in New York City” soon.  But know this: it couldn’t be easier to be Gluten Free on a NYC vacay!

By the end of all our adventuring our feet and legs hurt so badly from walking.  Totally worth it!

new_york_city