Years ago, I wrote a post on what it’s like to go through a divorce in your 20s. Honestly, I never in a million years thought people would care much about it. I anticipated a few close friends would read it and that was it. It is by far the most viewed post my blog has ever had and continues to be viewed many times daily. Obviously, my story resonates with others.

Divorce is a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any easier. People are desperate for two things: 1. Healing 2. To know they aren’t alone. One way I fulfilled both of those desires was through books. As a reader and English major, maybe I’m a bit biased, but I believe in the transformative power of stories.

Each of these books for divorce helped me through hard times, and I know they can help you with yours too. No matter the stage you are in–thinking about divorce, in the muck of it all, or post-divorce–it’s important to invest in yourself during this time.

P.S. If you want a little extra support, I run an Instagram account called The Split, you’ll be able to find plenty love, and encouragement there. xo

Books For Divorce

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

Hands down the best and most powerful book I read when going through my divorce. If I could afford to buy a copy and send it to every person who ever gets divorced, I would. But I can’t. So please buy it for yourself. Pema Chodron is a buddhist monk. No matter your religious affiliation or lack thereof, it doesn’t matter. When Things Fall Apart goes beyond religion and enters the land of, how she puts it, “heart advice.” It’s beautifully and simply written.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

If you haven’t read Brené Brown’s work, run, don’t walk! (Read them in the order on this divorce books list). Brené is a shame researcher and offers easy-to-understand insights. While they aren’t specifically for dealing with divorce, they’re super relatable. In The Gifts of Imperfection, she dives deep into the important topics of worthiness, perfectionism, wholehearted living, and letting go of who you think you’re “supposed to be” in order to embrace who you are. She encourages us to cultivate courage, compassion, and connection.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

This is Brené Brown book #2, equally as impactful and important. In Daring Greatly, she enters the realm of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure (all the things you deal with during and after a divorce). She encourages to face those experiences with vulnerability and courage. This book is about “stepping into the arena” and not allowing our fears to stop us from embracing our life wholeheartedly–even if that means we will have critics along the way. Let’s face it, who doesn’t find at least a critic or two when you’re getting a divorce?

Rising Strong by Brené Brown

Brené Brown’s must-read #3 taught me how to own my story and write my own ending. When we are going through a divorce, we often have moments of feeling powerless. The spouse and his/her lawyers are writing our stories. We have fallen and we sometimes feel like we can’t get up. These are the issues Brené tackles in Rising Strong.

Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown

I clearly love everything by Brene Brown. I mean, who doesn’t relate the metaphor of divorce as a “wilderness” and “the courage to stand alone”?

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Wild is a memoir of a woman who went through a divorce, the loss of a beloved mother, and a drug addiction all at the same time. She reconnects with herself through a solo hiking trek on the Pacific Coast trail. Cheryl Strayed is an insanely talented writer who weaves her story so beautifully that you can find yourself in the midst of her words.

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

Everything Cheryl Strayed produces is gold. Her answers to these “Dear Sugar” letters are some of the most beautiful, truthful, challenging, and inspiring words you can read. And she’s funny and brilliant at what she does. Keep in mind, Cheryl was a young divorced woman too!

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

I realize not everybody who gets divorce is codependent, so this does not apply to everyone. It was a foundational book for me. Codependent No More allowed me to realize the negative and unhealthy part I played in my relationship and helped me prevent going down that same road in my next relationship. Melody Beattie gets to the core of how to stop controlling others and start taking care of yourself in the complex world of codependency. I felt like I understood myself for the first time after reading this.

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

If Codependency No More spoke to you, this little daily “devotional” helps keep you on track. Each day you read 3 or 4 paragraphs on topics such as:

• Perfectionism
• Intimacy
• Getting through hard times
• Acceptance
• Trust
• Boundaries
• Etc.

Though she references “God,” this book is non-religious.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I originally read Eat, Pray, Love before I was married. It opened my eyes to what it means to be yourself, the benefits of exploring the world, and the importance of sharing your story. It inspired me to be a writer and traveler. Then I reread it after my divorce, and it brought me brand new insights. After all, this whole journey was sparked after Elizabeth Gilbert’s divorce. Reading about her crying in the bathroom resonated with me deeply. I had a few of those bathroom cries myself.

Women & Money by Suze Orman

Divorces are difficult financially. Now is the time to get your finances together. Suze explains practical steps for setting your finances up for success and dives into some of the psychological reasons why women can have money issues. It’s easy to understand and extremely helpful! A MUST READ.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I try to reread this book every two years.. The Four Agreements are simple:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best

These four agreements become the guideposts for dealing with others and yourself.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

One of the first things I did after getting divorced was start a new comedy on Netflix. The idea was I’d have something funny to go to bed with each night as I was adjusting to being alone. My choice was Parks & Rec. Amy Poehler became my hero. In her hilarious memoir, Yes Please, she offers beautiful advice for all women (all people, really), but she also discusses her divorce from Will Arnett with grace, insight, and humor.

(Follow The Split community for extra support + love!)

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**These Books for Divorce links are Amazon Associate affiliate links, which means if you buy it after clicking from this website, I may get a small commission at no cost to you. Don’t worry. I only recommend the good stuff.