I’m Worried About Hate, Not Too Much Love

I’m Worried About Hate, Not Too Much Love


In case you haven’t heard, on Friday the Supreme Court made it legal for everybody to get married and everyone started putting rainbows everywhere because rainbows are awesome and gay people are awesome and you’re awesome and I’m awesome and life is awesome and love is awesome…

In the midst of all this awesome, there were those who really didn’t think it was awesome. Actually they thought it was dangerous. As in, the world is now going to end because Rick and Larry are getting married. Because apparently those who believe being gay is a sin have never seen anybody who sins get married beforeI was a little irritated about all this. Which was sad because there was so much awesome going on…

And now I’m going to tell you a story.  It’s relevant, so keep tracking:

My boyfriend and I went to breakfast Saturday morning. A woman sat down next to us with two young boys around 6 and 9. The older one touched the younger one; the younger one tattled. Total brothers. Instead of scolding the oldest or telling the youngest to not tattle or any other typical parenting tactic, the mother chose to say these things to her son:

“I should never take you out in public.”

“I should have left you alone with the animals.”

“All those problems you’re having with kids in school – it’s you, not them. You’re the problem.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re a disgrace to the family.”

“You’re a fucking piece of shit.”

From a mother to a young son. In public. Imagine private life! Long story short, I freaked out on this woman and tried my best to remind her son that he was not a piece of shit. It was a terrible thing.

But I realized something important. There is so much hate in this world.  So many terrible, horrible people spew hate on other people. Verbal, physical, emotional, sexual hate. It’s overwhelming and exhausting to start comprehending even a portion of the hate in this world. Human beings kill, rape, and abuse each other. Everyday.

In a world with so much hate, I don’t understand the people who are upset about too much love. I wrote a song a couple years back with the lyrics: “They think love is sometimes evil and hate’s sometimes ok. If that’s the truth than up is down, there’s got to be another way.” There are mothers in this world who call their children “fucking pieces of shit” and yet two women getting married is going to ruin America?!? There are gunmen who blow up churches, but this country’s downfall is two men loving each other?? I’m not buying that.

Now, suddenly, social media, the blogosphere and human beings seem to be sharing the message that it’s all gone to hell.  It wasn’t a white male who murdered black church-goers in Charleston. It’s gay people getting married that apparently stirs the wrath of God.  I’d be a hurt and mad if I went on social media and saw that Christians (who are totally allowed to believe that homosexuality is sinful) claim that MY “sin” was God-angering, but mentioned NOTHING about THEIR sin or about the truly terrible things that happen everyday.

I’m too busy being concerned about the horrendous atrocities human beings do to one another to buy into the fear that God is less concerned about the acts of hate in this world and more concerned about Pam and Jane loving one another. If the BIGGEST problem in this world is two people loving each other too much, life must be pretty damn wonderful.  But that’s not the case, is it?  Our priorities are way off base if we think God is now too offended, or if you think God deals with all your crap, but now the gays are getting married and He’s reached his tolerance level!!  That’s fear and insecurity talking.  Not love.

Remember that little boy at breakfast?  What if all the energy being spent frustrated with gay marriage went in to helping him?  What if we were more focused on ridding the world of hate than policing love?  I’m gonna worry about the hate, and embrace the love.  Rainbows all the way.  Gay marriage is now, simply, “marriage.”  And love won.  Because LOVE ALWAYS WINS.  And there is never, ever, ever too much love.

Featured Image via Flickr

Who Then Will You Make Wedding Cakes For?


Apparently some people in Indiana don’t want to serve gay people.  They say it goes against their religious freedom to have to service homosexuals who are getting married, because gay marriage is an “abomination.”  Now the law is on their side. In my mind, the biggest problem is that this is still a problem for people, that this mindset of discriminating against gay people still permeates the brains Evangelicals of the US.

I fully support gay people and all of their rights.  I am an ardent supporter of gay marriage and have been for many years despite growing up in conservative Christian circles. In no way do I believe that homosexuality is a sin.  But I also understand that this is a free country (isn’t that awesome?!) and nobody has to share my views.  There is true religious freedom in this country (isn’t that awesome?!).  And with that comes the fact Christians can believe that homosexuality is a sin and that gay marriage should be forbidden.

So let’s follow that train of thought for a minute. Say being gay is actually a sin.  Christian companies pursuing lives that glorify God don’t want to be surrounded by sin, right?  A wedding cake creator doesn’t want to create a cake for a sinful marriage, right?

But if you cannot make a wedding cake for a gay couple because they are sinners, who then is left to make any cake for?  

I’ll tell you who you can’t make a cake for.  Me.  I filed for divorce from a man who didn’t commit adultery.  I am a sinner, and any future marriage would be a sinful marriage.  But I have this strange feeling that if  I walked into a Christian cake shop while holding the hand of a man, I would still get my cake.  Then there are the liars who get married, the cheaters, the addicts.  We all have issues.  Not a one of us is perfect.  Any human being who gets married will have a sinful marriage.  If a company refuses sinners, they will go out of business immediately.

So then it’s not so much that these companies have a problem with sin; they are serving sinners every single day. It’s that they have a problem with a particular sexual orientation.  Gayness.  They’ve cherry-picked homosexually as the King of Sin-dom.  Which basically boils down to “Your sin is worse than my sin.”  How did Christianity get to that point?  Paul, writer of most of the New Testament, wrote this:  “Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst.”   How did Christianity come from a place of humility where the man chosen to write a huge portion of the Bible knows that he is massively screwed up – to the place where many Christians feel like their issues aren’t as bad as everyone else’s issues?

In this country, Christians are free to believe homosexuality is a sin.  Christians are even free to be douche bags.  But nothing about douchebaggery models the life of Jesus… ya know… the head honcho of Christianity.  Jesus couldn’t stand the haughty religious zealots.  He called them a “brood of vipers.”  When these zealots wanted to condemn a woman caught in adultery, Jesus said only the person without sin could throw the first stone.  Obviously, nobody could.  Nobody was sinless, nobody except Jesus.  And he never picked up a stone.

So you with the sinless marriage, you can refuse the first wedding cake.  Any takers?  I’m guessing that’s about 0.00%.  Everyone else, make the blessed cake.  Show kindness.  Love your neighbor and all that jazz.

And these companies should remember – I’m not the only Millennial Christian who doesn’t think that loving somebody of the same sex is a sin.  And I’m certainly not the only one supporting gay marriage.  74% of us do and that number keeps increasing.  Millennials are growing up, aged 15-35 currently.  Marriage age.  Also baby-rearing age.  Which means we are teaching the next generation to accept all sorts of people.  And someday they’re going to learn in school that American companies in the past refused all sorts of people.  Black people.  Gay people.  These Indiana companies will make history books.  Pictured right next to the companies with signs reading “Whites only.”

We’ve been here before as a country.  The discriminators don’t win out in the end.  Why? Because LOVE WINS.  You know who taught me that? Jesus.