10 Things Worse Than Getting Fatter

10 things worse than getting fatter

I’m living in Italy right now. Nobody goes to Italy and thinks, “This is the perfect time to cash in on my New Year’s Resolution and lose 10 pounds.”

You eat in Italy.

You eat bread in all sorts of forms. Croissants, loaves, pasta, pastries, pizza. You eat cheese in sorts of forms. Melted. Sliced. Shaved. Gooey. You drink wine in one form: plenty.

I have never had a metabolism that allows me to eat all I want without gaining weight. I have never had washboard abs. Sure, I’ve never been highly overweight, but I have also never been without a little extra flesh – even at my leanest. (If you don’t believe me, know I am in control of every photo I put on social media.)

For many years, I equated shame with weight. If I lean over and my jeans created a crease where my belly flopped out a bit, that equaled unloveable. If my arm was close to my side and the flesh spread out a bit, that equaled unworthy.

Through practicing the art of self-love, self-care, and good health, I have managed to overcome these negative thought patterns… for the most part.

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Enter Italy. Italy is a gluten-free powerhouse with homemade and handmade GF pastas, breads, pastries, and deliciousness for my Celiac-y self. Everything tastes like an orgasm. I close my eyes and moan when the gluten-free bruschetta touches my taste buds, people. It’s food magic.

I eat in Italy, but I also walk and walk and walk, so I wasn’t concerned at first. Until one morning I woke up and realized, “I could get fatter in the two months here.” Then those shame gremlins (as Brené Brown calls them) started creeping up saying, “If you get fatter, you will be unloveable.”

You know what? That’s a load of shit.

things worse than getting fatter

I am in Italy. I am going to eat Italian food. Not just eat it – enjoy it. I’m over the idea that pleasures are inherently guilty and my worth as a woman is found in how well I can deny myself.

I’m gonna eat the gluten-free pizza with buffalo mozzarella and proscuitto. I’m having gelato for breakfast. You know why? There are worse things.

10 Things Worse Than Getting Fatter

1. Spending lots of money to live in Italy for 2 months, but choosing the side salad instead.

2. Allowing shame to dictate my whole entire freaking life.

3. Being grumpy because the hot man across from me (AKA The Boyfriend) is eating his 6th slice of Napoli pizza while I’m gnawing on some lettuce. (For what it’s worth, I ate the whole damn gluten-free handmade Napoli pizza myself. Except for one slice that I ate for breakfast the next morning.)

4. Letting the patriarchy determine what women should look like in order to be good enough, sexual, or successful.

5. War. War is definitely worse than getting fatter.

6. Wondering if my tummy is popping out instead of wondering how Michelangelo managed to carve David’s large… torso.

7. Not enjoying the taste of wine as it is supposed to be tasted, the Italian way: with an extra glass.

8. Getting small. And I don’t mean on the outside in pounds and fat. I mean small on the inside. Shrinking my soul into a concave wisp of unworthiness that believes I’m not strong or powerful enough to occupy space simply because I licked on a cone of gelato.

9. Being so self-involved that I think the citizens of this globe notice when I go up 4.2 pounds.

10. Missing out. On the wild, electric, mystical, transcendental pleasures of life. Missing out all all the joyous flavors life offers. Missing out on the wholeness of the human experience – including good food. Missing out on ENJOYING.

10 things worse than getting fatter

I’m not advocating obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes. I’m not talking about binging or numbing through overeating. I believe in moderation, vegetables, and exercise. I want to be healthy, so I can live a long, interesting, and full life.

But.

I’m over worrying about whether or not I should pee before weighing myself. I’m actually over weighing myself.

I’m over drawing a connection between my carbohydrate intake and my lovability.

I’m over denying myself the pleasure of enjoying good food because heaven forbid I don’t adhere to the ideal weight number for 365 days x 70 years.

In case I didn’t say clearly enough that there are many things worse than getting fatter, allow Eat, Pray, Love to do it for you. This is my Italian motto:

Eat well, my friends, and love yourself.

Tay

5 thoughts on “10 Things Worse Than Getting Fatter

  • June 24, 2016 at 7:39 am
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    I am so, so grateful to know you like I do in my life. While I wish I would have known you years ago (and could have read this years ago), it still makes a difference in my thinking today. Thank you for writing this, for sharing your thoughts. Wishing you a super yum weekend :)

    Reply
    • June 24, 2016 at 8:47 am
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      RIGHT back at you! xo

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  • June 24, 2016 at 8:23 am
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    I identify with the following line: “I’m over worrying about whether or not I should pee before weighing myself.”
    Pretty silly stuff… Like I’m being graded for my weight…

    Thanks Taylor. When I was young, I engaged in several athletic activities and ate 3 times as much as I do now… And was thin! I almost always ate the whole pizza. Most of the reason I have gained weight in recent years is because I don’t move enough. Walking is such a blessing, especially in A beautiful place,

    My thought while reading your blog… None of us are guaranteed a day beyond today. Enjoy whatever blessings are ready for the taking. You’re right, Italy is no place to worry about what you eat.

    Thank you for taking the time to share your travels with us. It’s meant a lot!
    …Lori

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    • June 24, 2016 at 8:50 am
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      You are so right, Lori. I love the idea of fully accepting we aren’t guaranteed a day beyond today. It’s so true. I don’t want to live thinking I have all the time in the world to do all the things. I don’t. So I’m definitely going to enjoy them right now. “Enjoy whatever blessings are ready for the taking.” YES! xo

      Reply
  • June 25, 2016 at 10:12 pm
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    Dang, it’s Italy, lucky you, good food is a blessing, enjoy. I guess if anyone could do GF pasta that’s yummy to eat it would be the Italians, that’s so cool.

    Reply

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